Facial Hair Guide for Cocaine Users

In 1978, a mysterious author of suspiciously well-written drug books, Adam Gottleib, released the ultimate cocaine-use Bible, “The Pleasures of Cocaine.” At the time, wild facial hair styles were in, and many of the book’s illustrations portray boldly mustachioed typecasts inhaling cocaine through Rube Goldberg-like devices to keep their upper lip clean while maximizing their high. In this piece, we expand on Gottleib’s research and propose ways for the modern beardsman to keep his face clear of embarrassing narcotic dust.